As fathers we will always strive to be our best or in a sense to be perfect. The truth is there is no perfect formula to being a father so it is more the idea of perfection we each have that we shoot for. I think of this often and I feel the stress that comes from knowing I am not even close!! As I have gotten older and somewhat wiser I see more and more that I am not nor will I ever be perfect. I have my flaws as a person, and a father but you know what that is ok!! I see that it is my imperfections that actually make me perfect.
I am not sure about all of my fellow dads out there but I have made many mistakes in life and some as a father but I am learning to embrace these as positives in life and you should all see yourselves the in the same way. These mistakes are life experiences we hope to learn from and they can bring wisdom to your life as a dad. Remember the kids have no idea what we have experienced and everything is new to them!! Knowing the consequences from making the wrong decisions in our lives only lends to the wise advice we can pass on to the kids.
I could probably have an entire book if I were to go on about the mistakes I have made in my life so there is always plenty of material to mull when certain situations arise. Despite this we always find ourselves second guessing our choices as parents. It is important to remember fellas we are allowed to make mistakes we are not perfect and to expect otherwise will only bring unwanted anxiety and stress we sure do not need!! We have enough to worry about such as providing for our families and taking care of those we love.
It is our example that will lay the foundation for our kids as they develop into future adults and when we own up to our mistakes they can see themselves that it is ok to slip up, to fall as long as they know they can get up rise and overcome. We have all experienced the moments when you know your child did something and you try to ask and you get the “it wasn’t me” or “I didn’t do it” and the struggle of trying to get them to see how much easier it will be to admit what they did and tell the truth as opposed to lying. As humorous as this is to us since we did the exact same thing as kids it is important to be sure they see the error in this and learn from any mistake made.
The point is to embrace who we are as dads and as people. That means the bad as well as the good, as that will enable us to become better dads with the ability to display our vulnerabilities. In doing so we can grow as well and not feel like we need to apologize for our perceived faults. I can certainly admit I can have a temper or can have a blow up where I find myself yelling for what seems to be no reason and of course immediately after feel remorse if my kids witness this behavior. It is something I continue to try and be better at but I do not apologize for who I am. I try to recognize the same behaviors in my kids in the hope to help them at this young age and not let that become something they carry with them.
It is easy to get caught up in focusing on the imperfections we carry but it is just as important to recognize them as part of who we are not something that makes us a bad parent. We all have our demons or a past ok maybe not all but most of us hahahaha. We battle these daily whether we know it or not as they are a part of us but not what defines us as dads. They are only a small part of what makes us all perfectly imperfect!